Death Shall Die

Recently, an old relative of mine, in her nineties, expired. She had a fall which caused brain hemorrhage. She was hospitalised for about 2 weeks and then breathed her last. She was cremated at Puri. The cremation area is called Swargadwar (gateway to heaven) and is adjacent to the sea. It is believed that the soul of the departed gets peace if the cremation takes place at Swargadwar.

I had accompanied the body and participated in the rites.

The cremation area is subdivided into several quadrangles and several bodies can be cremated in each quadrangle at the same time. When we reached the spot, several pyres were burning. Fresh bodies were being brought in and registered for cremation. The atmosphere makes one philosophical; it is serene and very humbling. 

When we were waiting for completion of the formalities, i looked around at the other pyres. Some were being lit, some were burning with full flames leaping towards the sky, consuming the bodies and some were almost extinguished. On a few spots only a pile of ashes remained. It reminded me of the saying 'From dust unto dust.'

One particular pyre attracted my attention. It had just been lit. A pair of feet was clearly visible from out of the pile of wood, the other parts of the body being fully covered. The feet had alta (lac-dye, a red-coloured liquid applied by women and girls on their feet as a beauty-aid) neatly applied on them. Alta is worn by married women whose husbands are alive, as well as by unmarried girls. Hindu custom does not permit widows to apply alta on their feet or vermilion on the parting of their hair. When a woman dies during the life-time of her husband, her body, before being taken out for cremation, is dressed up just like a bride, in a colourful new saree, new glass bangles, alta, vermilion and all other accessories used by women whose husbands are alive. Thus, it was evident that this lady was a ‘suhagin’, a ‘sadhaba’ (a woman whose husband is there). In olden days, women yearned to die as suhagin and not as widows. When a married women bows before an elder, the latter would bless her, “Sada suhagin raho” (Remain ever a Suhagin), "Let you wear vermilion in your gray hair." and “Let your bangles be like vajra (the strong and unbreakable weapon of Lord Indra).” The allusion is to the custom of breaking the glass bangles of a woman on the death of her husband. By custom, widows do not wear glass bangles. In earlier times, a woman who died during the life-time of her husband, was considered lucky. This was because the condition of widows was miserable and their social status was low. Even now widows are not permitted to participate in certain auspicious customs.

The alta on the feet of this body made me somber and i could not take my eyes off it. It was a poignant feeling.One of my cousin-sisters loved to apply alta on her feet daily. Last year her husband expired. He was in his sixties at the time of his death. My cousin-sister no longer applies alta. Whenever i meet her, my eyes instinctively travel to her feet at first and the sight makes me sad.:((((((

I came back to my group. The son of the deceased old lady was about to lit the pyre. This is called giving mukhagni. The son, or in his absence the next member, (preferably male), of the family closest in relation to the deceased, puts agni (fire) to the mukh (face) of the body. It is believed that only when the person dearest to the deceased sets fire to face, the spirit of the deceased finally leaves the body. Setting fire to somebody’s face is the most undesirable act and when this happens, the deceased person truly gives up all attachments and his/her spirit finally leaves the body. When somebody harms another, the victim may react by saying, "Have I put fire on your face, so you are doing this to me?"

It is said that in life two things cannot be avoided; death and taxes.

Deaths occur so that life can continue. In a garden, old flowers must wilt and fall so that new flowers can bloom and take their place.

Raymond Tallis, the famous British savant-scientist in Hippocratic Oaths: Medicines and Its Discontents says, "However death is postponed and palliated - by means of medicines, public health, technology and social reforms - birth remains a one-way ticket to the grave."

Shakespeare says in Hamlet:

Though know'st 'tis common;

All lives must die;

Passing through nature to eternity.

Indian tradition looks upon Death as the greatest teacher of the secrets of life. In Kathopanishad, when Nachiketa finally meets Yama, the God of Death, the latter tries to bribe Nachiketa who seeks the supreme secret by trying to fob him off but when Nachiketa stands firm, Yama discloses the dichotomy of paths leading to shreyas and preyas, to blessedness and sensory satisfaction. Yama says: Choose what is ultimately real and not what appears to be immediately valuable.
Here is a video-representation of their conversation:

In my college days, i had read the poem ‘Death Be Not Proud’ by John Donne, which is reproduced below:

Death be not proud, some caleed thee,

Mighty and dreadful, for, thou art not soe,

For, those, whom thou think’st thou overthrow,

Die not, poore death, nor yet can'st thou kill mee,

From rest and sleepe, which but thy picture bee.

Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,

And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,

Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.

Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,

And dost with poyson, warre, and sickness dwell,

And poppie, or charmes, can make us sleepe as well.

And better than thy stroake: why swell’st thou then?

One short sleepe past, we wake eternally.

And death shall be no more; death, thou shall die.

==

(The spelling of the words is as prevailed at that time.)

Death has been called the great leveler. A king loses his power upon death; a poor man no longer remains in poverty after death. All return to dust after death.

TAIL PIECE

It was perhps Mark Twain who had said, "Rumours about my death are highly exagerrated."

In India, it is believed that if rumours about a person's death turns out to be false, it adds years to his/her life!

ADDENDUM

29.10.2011

A question arises : If if death is certain and we don't forget or ignore it, then what is the use of living? One may as well commit suicide! However, death is only one side of the coin. The other side is life is just as inevitable. So live it fully and in a worthwhile way.