On Being Alone

The wife is away and for the last 3 weeks with Daughter II. i am alone in this fairly big house, which now appears to be full of emptiness.

The most important aspect of being alone is that a lot of time is spent in silence. Although silence is said to be golden, after a certain point, it becomes a little taxing. Ancient sages used to spend long periods in silence. Gandhiji used to observe a day in silence at fixed intervals. But for ordinary mortals like me, remaining silent for a considerable time becomes a little unbearable. Then silence becomes deafening!

When alone, people pine for the presence of others: yet when with others, they start fighting and each one wants to be left alone! It is an irony of life that man cannot live without others; it is equally true that man cannot live with others! How many times we have heard one person telling another, "Will you please leave me alone?"!

We may sometimes yearn for aloneness but no one ever seeks to be lonely.

Valentine's Day was observed on 14th February. Next day i read a news-report that a husband and wife, who had a love-marriage, were living separately. The husband had filed a divorce-petition. On Valentine's Day, he called her to his office and told her that he wanted them to go for a long drive and talk things over. The ever hopeful and credulous lady agreed. They went for the drive. On the way, they had an argument. He slapped her, hit her on the head and left her high and dry by the roadside, injured and bleeding!

In my College days i had read a poem titled Solitude of Alexander Selkirk by William Cooper. It narrates the experience of Alexander Selkirk who is involved in a shipwreck and is stranded in an uninhabited island all alone. The poem is reproduced below:


The Solitude of Alexander Selkirk

by William Cowper

I am monarch of all I survey,
My right there is none to dispute,
From the center all round to the sea,
I am lord of the fowl and the brute.
O Solitude! where are the charms
That sages have seen in thy face?
Better dwell in the midst of alarms
Than reign in this horrible place.

I am out of humanity's reach,
I must finish my journey alone,
Never hear the sweet music of speech,--
I start at the sound of my own.
The beasts that roam over the plain
My form with indifference see;
They are so unacquainted with man,
Their tameness is shocking to me.

Society, Friendship, and Love,
Divinely bestow'd upon man,
Oh, had I the wings of a dove,
How soon would I taste you again!
My sorrows I then might assuage
In the ways of religion and truth,
Might learn from the wisdom of age,
And be cheer'd by the sallies of youth.

Ye winds that have made me your sport,
Convey to this desolate shore
Some cordial endearing report
Of a land I shall visit no more!

My friends--do they now and then send
A wish or a thought after me?
Oh, tell me I yet have a friend,
Though a friend I am never to see.

How fleet is a glance of the mind!
Compared with the speed of its flight,
The tempest itself lags behind,
And the swift-wingèd arrows of light.
When I think of my own native land,
In a moment I seem to be there;
But alas! recollection at hand
Soon hurries me back to despair.

But the seafowl is gone to her nest,
The beast is laid down in his lair,
Even here is a season of rest,
And I to my cabin repair.
There's mercy in every place,
And mercy, encouraging thought!
Gives even affliction a grace,
And reconciles man to his lot

Retrieved from http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Solitude_of_Alexander_Selkirk

Loneliness is not the same thing as being alone; it is a state of mind. Loneliness is not the same thing as solitude. Sometimes, a person seeks solitude, to be with his/her thoughts. To seek solitude is not undesirable. Sometimes, a person feels lonely amidst a crowd. It is said that in a hierarchical organisation, it is always lonely at the top.

Time seats heavy on the lonely person.Peanuts are sometimes called 'Time Pass' and are sold as such. A lonely person, having nothing else to do, pops up these into her/his mouth to 'kill' time. Time is so precious. Should we kill it?

I read this somewhere: Do not suffer loneliness; whenever you feel lonely, convert the feeling into solitude and enjoy it!

As the French philosopher-writer Jean-Paul Satre said, "If you're lonely when you are alone, you're in bad company."


ADDENDA

The lady of the house (LOH) has since returned. Am I happy? Nah! No such luck. She is repacking her baggage. To fly to Daughter I. :(((((((((((((

2. Whoever said: Do not succumb to marriage just because it seems the easiest solution to lust, laundry and loneliness!!!

TAIL PIECE

Till today, i did not realise how happy I was yesterday!