Sixty-nine and Ninety-six

It is said that marriages are made in heaven. In Odisha, it is believed that match-making is wholly in the domain of Lord Prajapati who decides who will be whose life-partner. That is why in marriage-invitation cards, the words ‘Om Shree Prajapatayeh Namah’ are printed on the top. Some marry the persons they have loved and some discover love in the persons they have married. In Hindu faith, it is believed that marriages are for 7 lives, that is, the same couple become life-partners in their 7 births, i.e., they marry each other in 7 lives. However, a couple does keep wondering as to which one of these 7 lives, is the present one. Some couples wish that this is their first life together so that they have this blissful union for this and six more lives; some couples hope that this is the seventh and last birth of their married life so that the ordeal is going to end soon!

Marriage is also called ‘wedlock’, that is to say;  the partners are ‘locked’ for whole life – or till they remain married. In a perfect marriage, the husband and the wife complement each other; their respective qualities are different but match with each other perfectly. Whatever one partner lacks in, is made up by the other.

In matrimony, the two partners are like 6 and 9. To ensure harmony, they should stay – and lie – like 69, complementing and supplementing each other, looking into the eyes of each other.

 This way, the two partners make a perfect circle, without any rough edge.

If they get into serious differences, they fall apart and become ‘96’, a position in which the partners lie and look, now also in opposite directions, but away from each other.

The situation becomes more complicated if a third person enters the marital zone. The position becomes 699 or 669 and the area becomes over-crowded. The extra person intrudes into the middle and the scenario  becomes 9-69 or 69-6! 

Marital fusion is like the Hindu concept of Ardhanareeshwar, the fusion of Shiva and Shivaa, of Prakruti and Purusha (male and female) to become one single entity. Ardhanareeshwar is half female and half male making one whole. Naree represents Goddess Durga (Shivaa) and Ishwar is Lord Shiva.
 
However, if the desirable marital position is ‘69’, why is the husband always the butt of jokes? Why is there an expression like ‘hen-pecked husband’? Why is there no ‘cock-pecked wife’? However, no lady will openly admit that her husband is a hen-pecked one! And no dominating husband is made fun of!

Males are advised not to succumb to marriage just because it seems to be the easiest solution to lust, loneliness and laundry.

   

In common parlance, the man of the house is supposed to be the ‘boss’ of the family, but the real boss seems to the lady. One must have come across this pun: A man had hung a plaque in his house saying, ‘I am the boss of the house and I have my wife’s permission to say so.’

Marital fights have their own role in a couple’s life. Without occasional tiffs, a marriage becomes a routine and a little boring. Making up after a cute little fight, makes life much sweeter. Maana Bhanjan in Hindu literature is a lovable concept. When the lady sulks after a tiff, the husband loves to do manabhanjan - to persuade his lady-love to give up sulking and to join in the marital bliss. I remember the line from Hindi cinema 'Ek hasinaa jab ruth jati hai, woh aur bhi hasinaa ban jati hai. (When a beautiful lady sulks, she becomes more beautiful!)

It is believed that the female partners love a good fight. There is the case where a husband was away and the lady felt distraught having no one to fight with. She went over to her neighbour asked the other lady, ”Sister, my husband is out of town; can i have a little fight with yours?”

And there is the case of another lady, whose husband was a master practitioner of yoga. He used to do some intricate ‘asan’s in which he almost warped his hands and legs in an unbelievable way. Once, when he was in such an asan, she went near him with her wooden rolling-pin and lovingly told him, “ Agar haddi todna hai, toh mujhe kah dia karo.” (Expanded meaning: If you want to break your bones, tell me. I can do it easily! Why are you taking so much trouble for this?)

A couple had a perfect marital life. The husband's friend asked him, "What is the secret of your success?" The husband replied, "There is a perfect understanding between us. We have distributed the areas where each of us takes decisions and the other does not interfere in it. My wife takes final decisions on internal matters like how to beautify our house, which school/college the children should go, how the money we earn is to be spent etc." The friend asked,"And what are areas allotted  to you?" The man replied, "External matters like what is to be done for global warming, whether India should vote against Sri Lanka in U.N.O. etc" 

  

TAIL PIECE:

In an assembly, the speaker in the course of his talk asked the men present in the audience, “Those of you who fear your wives, please come to the left side of the hall. Those who do not fear your wives, please come to the right side.”  A crowd came to the left side and there was a single man on the right side. The speaker looked at the lone man on the right side and said, “You must be a brave man. What is the secret of your success?” The man hesitated, scratched his head over his left ear, looked away from his wife and timidly said, “My wife asked me to come to this side.”

2. Teacher: Discovery is finding a thing which was already there but not known. Invention is creating a new thing. Give me examples.

Student: When my father was planning for marriage, he discovered Mama, Then they invented me.

3. There is a app for people who can't get home: it criticises your lifestyle and everything that you do; it bursts into tears when you talk back to it.